Sobs & Laughter: Forgive Me, I Do Not Care
By Columnist HAYDEN GOLDEN - I was approached last week by a member of the “No on 1” campaign as I was walking to dinner. ARAMARK food has never been as appealing. This political activist spent ten minutes harassing my friend about changing her address so she could vote in Maine this year even as she clearly stated that she was moving to New York next year. But as the conversation turned political monologue by this food blocker went on, I became more nauseated at what I was witnessing: political manipulation by a thug with a green pin on his jacket, a “straight ally” trying to feel good about himself, who was trying to push the EqualityMaine agenda.
Forgive me, I received my absentee ballot last week and I just do not care. Yes, I had a “No on 1” pin on my bag, until last week. Now, I think, instead of wasting it, I will paint over it so it reads “Political Fatalist.” Forgetting that I have no plans to live in Maine past college, I will instead focus on the election facts.
First, the fight over gay marriage in Maine is futile. Both sides are funded by outside sources, which makes this election season a money war where the side with the best publicity and most money is poised to win a monumental victory. So how much does my vote matter? Not much since “No on 1” and “Yes on 1” just want to convince me of who is “right” so I can vote and they can move on to taking more money from donors to add to the coffers of organizations who do not care about me. Should I truly believe the Catholic Church, which held a second collection several weeks ago for “Yes on 1,” cares about me? Or does Matthew Dubois, the President of the Board for Equality Maine who seeks to gain more billable hours from divorces of gay couples as well as couples who want to merge their legal dealings, care more about me?
Forgetting about motives, why would I support either organization? They both employ people drowning in ideology. On one side, there are people who interpret the Bible literally and think that only men and women together, sexually, are natural. They are ostensibly fools who have neglected the pervasive bisexuality in Greek culture or the staunch adoration heterosexual have for pornography depicting two women exploring the other. The other side is composed of a different breed of crazy. There are the straight “allies” who would not dare be seen as discriminating especially since most of them have gay siblings and they are trying to make-up for all those years of neglect and hurtful words. Then there are the queers (Is this still the politically correct term?) who wear their rainbows, a symbol with perfect, geometric lines and bright colors which is a complete distortion of the Sexual Revolution which was meant to symbolize non-conformity. How do perfect lines symbolize non-conformity? And why the bright colors when the queer community is one of the most unwelcoming, alienating anyone who is not a socialist liberal and devotee to the Democrat party?
Finally, why should I vote for more political hyperbole? The losers in this election will just get more pamphlets and commercials with more insanity. ‘Children are learning about homosexual intercourse –in pre-school! Call your Senator!’ Or, ‘Hitler suppressed the rights of gay couples. Don’t let Maine be like Hitler.’ As if the Hitler cliché has not been overdone, ad nauseum, but why would I want to listen to it all? I am saying ‘no’ this season, but I am rejecting it all in favor of caring about real issues.
 
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