Bite Me Beaver
Dear Bite, I've been struggling with something for awhile now that I really need to get off my chest. I am a single person surrounded by friends who are all couples which is bad enough, but on top of this I absolutely despise one of my friends' significant others. As...
Bite Me Beaver #6
Dear Bite, I have recently been at home, due to everything that has been going on. While I love my family and all, I can’t help but go absolutely insane when dealing with them. I have a part time job while I’m here, and while it gets me out of the house, I don’t...
Bite Me Beaver
Dear Bite, I have had some trouble sleeping lately. The stress of school, COVID, and the fact of just pure living has become overwhelming and I can't sleep. Once I finally get to sleep I am awoken by my roommate thrashing around in her sleep and hitting the wall....
Bite Me Beaver
Dear Bite, I find myself having trouble getting into the Halloween spirit. It seems as if everyone on campus is in full Halloween mode, and I’m stuck here. This may account for the fact that I do not have anyone to “trick-or-treat” with (if you know what I'm saying) I...
Bite Me Beaver
Dear Bite, My newfound boyfriend and I are having some trouble sleeping together (no get your mind out of the gutter I mean like actually sleeping) he is always way too warm and twitches terribly. I wake up and am covered in a pool of drool and sweat. How do I make...
Bite Me Beaver
Dear Bite, Dude…. this mask acne…. I can’t anymore. My chin hasn’t seen a breakout like this since the middle school days of bad patchy peach fuzz and a constant oil sheen over my face. The hell do I do? Look I know we’re all wearing masks 90% of the time but there’s...
Welcome to Our Horrible Advice Column, Bite-Me-Beaver
Want to hear from Bite and get some (not so) DAM GOOD ADVICE? Write in to umfdearbeaver@gmail.com for a chance to hear back from a beaver that learned to type! Dear Bite, The Rocky Horror table in the student center keeps trying to sell me edible dicks and...
Welcome to Our Horrible Advice Column, Bite-Me-Beaver!
Dear Bite, My cat keeps waking me up by attacking my feet in the morning. Unfortunately, my immediate reaction is to kick due to being startled, knocking my poor cat off the bed. How do I stop this cruel instinctual vice? -Toe-Smitten Kitten Dear Toe-Smitten,...
Welcome to Our Bad Advice Column: Bite-Me-Beaver
Dear Bite, I was recently talking to this person and we seemed pretty interested in each other, but they pulled a 180 and now they’re dating my best friend. . . Do I wallow in self-pity or do I just drink the sorrows away as I wait for discount candy after...
Bite-Me-Beaver: Welcome to our Horrible Advice Column
Dear Bite, My work friends and I have been getting together for True American game nights and we usually host it at my place. But now they assume every Saturday will be a game night and they’re inviting people who I don’t know well enough to want in my apartment....