Nov 12, 2020 | Feature |
by Noah Grindstaff, Contributing Writer
The Landing (Photo courtesy of Sam Shirley)
In the wake of the pandemic, the Landing has taken safety precautions to ensure that students will have access to safe and fun activities.
Making sure to have events centered around student enjoyment is important to the Landing staff, this year they continue to extend their services to the student population. Before the pandemic the Landing hosted “a lot of arts and crafts events, some movie screenings, assorted game nights with either one large game (like bingo) or various ones (like video game night)” said Brandon Reed, a sophomore, and manager of the Landing. They also used to host food diversity events to encourage multicultural interactions among students. This year, due to COVID-19 related health risks, food events cannot be hosted this semester.
Through all the new challenges this year, Justin Reid, a sophomore and performing arts major who works with Reed at The Landing, has found that “the primary differences [are] a major slash to room capacity and extra measures to sanitize and distance materials and people respectively.” He added that, “We keep a log of everyone that shows up at the event so that we can send it to Conferences and Events so that they can keep track of anyone who has attended.”
Students have been compliant with the new changes. “Everybody who visits follows the guidelines and safety measures,” said Reid. They have done well in their execution of social distancing measures.
Attendance for the Landing’s events might be lower this year, but those who do show up are excited to be there, “People usually visit in pairs and trios, so people are usually rather jovial in good company regardless of the event,” said Reid.
Upcoming events include: Friday the 13th on Nov. 13, a DIY Fairy Lantern event on Nov. 14, and Karaoke Night on Nov. 17.
To keep track of future events in The Landing, make sure to follow them on Instagram @umflanding and, if you’re on campus, go to the Olsen Student Center and check out their posters across from the Student Life office.
Nov 12, 2020 | Feature, Satire |
By Anonymous
As everyone knows (literally everyone) we have to wear these damned masks around campus nowadays.
They’re either floral, or black, or grey, or blue whatever the wearer chooses (seriously whatever). Frankly I myself have seen some major fashion faux pas around campus since the day we got here. I’ve seen abominations from striped masks with a polka dot shirt to a chartreuse mask with an amarillo sweater.
Don’t even get me started on the fact that I simply know for a fact that students aren’t washing their masks after they use them. We saw that you missed your mouth and spilled on to your mask and you have the AUDACITY to wear that same mask the next day with the same stain. Who are you fooling?
That’s not even the worst part (yes it can get worse), these masks are so uncomfortable it’s so hard to breathe in them. Karens around the world have come together to create a fake religion that allows them to not wear these abominations out anymore.
I propose that we follow these middle aged white women who have fits over expired coupons and band together and join them. You know what they say, “if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em”. As an act of our rebellion I am planning a “mask release ceremony” where all participating UMF students buy balloons, tie their masks to them, and set them free into the heavens. As implied masks will NOT be worn and social distancing will NOT be in place, shoulder to shoulder we shall stand in solidarity.
This party will promptly be following Halloweekend where local students have already started showing their support by partying in their dorms with of course, no masks on.
I am particularly excited to see how many new cases we get on campus after this. “It’s a fun game I like to play with my roommates,” said Senior, Abe Keller at University of Maine at Orono. “We check to see how many cases we’ve gone up by each week and estimate when we’re going to get sent home,”.
Keller doesn’t care about the virus however, “It’s all a scam, the big pharma companies want you to believe it’s real; somehow Steve Jobs is tied into this I’m sure of it,”.
While some students may be reluctant to change the mask policy I do believe that once we all come together and show the virus we aren’t scared of it, all this madness will subside.
This article is purely for satirical purposes. The names in this article do not reflect the views of the individuals.
Nov 12, 2020 | Feature, Ye Olde Beaver |
Taking a look back at the past 90 years of our campus newspaper and highlighting noteworthy items that perhaps were best forgotten.
Comic original published The Farmington Flyer in April 2007.
I would too; it looks like a strong and healthy tree. I might even tap it twice, depending on the DBH.
We all love maple syrup, and it’s really too bad that there isn’t the gallon jug of it in the dining hall this year. The corn syrup they have instead just doesn’t do it for us snobby Mainers; we’d rather eat our pancakes dry.
Personally, I’ve started bringing my own bottle of maple syrup with me to the dining hall, but that trend doesn’t seem to have caught on yet.
(Comic originally published in the Farmington Flyer in April 2007)
Nov 12, 2020 | Bite Me Beaver |
Dear Bite,
I find myself having trouble getting into the Halloween spirit. It seems as if everyone on campus is in full Halloween mode, and I’m stuck here. This may account for the fact that I do not have anyone to “trick-or-treat” with (if you know what I’m saying) I just want someone to do fun things with and maybe howl at the moon with every once in a while…
-Lone(ly) Wolf
Dear Wolf,
It sounds to me like you’re having some trouble with the ladies (or men, we don’t judge here). However, you are right, Halloween is coming right around the corner but take this as an opportunity. Wear a costume each day until Halloween, essentially catfishing everyone in real life. No one will know what you look like and maybe then you’ll become UMF’s sexiest man alive.
-Bite
Dear Bite,
We are at this point in the semester where work is piling up and up and I can’t take it anymore. This work is driving me mad. I have one professor who is super strict with deadlines and I’ve already used the “my nana died” excuse. Is there any way that I can ask for an extension without straight out saying “Yo, I suck at time management and spent the last three days on TikTok instead of doing my paper” or am I doomed?
-Procrastination Nation
Dear Procrastination,
We all know we are in a state of emergency, let’s use that to our advantage here. You have to put on your acting pants for this one so brace yourself. Call your professor up and complain of a terrible cough, loss of taste and smell, fever, chills, maybe even start sneezing over the phone. If your professor is up to date on any news they will want you as far away from them as possible until you’re better. Most likely they won’t even open your emails in fear of catching COVID, buying you some time. Let me know how this goes.
-Bite
Dear Bite,
I have a confession I need to get off my chest. I have been writing to you for a little bit now and I think I’ve caught feelings. I may not know who you are, or what you look like but damn, your responses just get me feeling some type of way. Now I know you know who I am through my emails, so if you feel the same way about me, don’t be shy and reach out. I am going out on a limb here and putting my heart on the line so please please please be gentle with your response.
-Hopeless Romantic
Dear Hopeless,
What can I say… To put things plainly, I think your signoff name was very fitting for this piece. “Hopeless”, I have way too many things to do to even think about anything romantic at this point. I will however say that yes I do know who you are (I have received countless emails from you) and to put it simply, I’d just like to keep this relationship professional. Speaking of knowing your identity, no I don’t want to go and howl at the moon with you, sorry.
-Bite
Got a question that needs answering? Let Bite Me Beaver give you some horrible advice! Write into umfdearbeaver@gmail.com.
Nov 12, 2020 | News |
by Colin Harris, Treasurer
UMF is rolling out a new plan with Berkeley Research Group. (Photo courtesy of Sam Shirley)
UMF has partnered with Berkeley Research Group (BRG) to work on a new plan concerning the urban mastrangeloniversity’s goals and how they are going to be attained.
Ryan Mastrangelo, a member of the Strategic Planning Committee and Director of Marketing and Communications at UMF, said in email, “The plan lets people know the school’s purpose, the values (or how staff and students are expected to behave), the context (or what is different about UMF), goals and targets, and how UMF is going to do this (key improvement strategies),”.
Simplified this means that UMF wants to provide the best possible experience to students and this new plan that is being set in place will help in doing so.
“We conducted a national search for a strategic planning firm to work with us,” President Edward Serna said in an email interview. “What impressed us with BRG was their depth of expertise in strategic planning and breadth of experience working in the higher education sector.”
The Strategic Planning Process has been in the making for quite some time now. “We developed our current strategic plan back in 2014. Think about how much the world has changed since then. Honestly, that plan no longer reflects the realities that we are facing. We needed a new plan that more accurately reflects our current and emerging challenges and opportunities,” Serna said.
This new plan is sure to bring questions. Mastrangelo said in an email, “What changes do we want to see in UMF? Should there be an emphasis on certain programs? If so, which ones?” These are the questions that UMF and BRG have teamed up to tackle.
The proposed plan will be three to four pages in length. The proposal will describe the goals of the plan and methods that will be used to accomplish them. Hopefully this will answer any questions that may occur throughout the process.
“I encourage students to get involved in the Strategic Planning Process—if the final result of our work is to identify the best possible path forward for Farmington, your input will help us get a sense of the key issues and themes, as well as hopes and dreams, that will shape a shared vision for Farmington’s future” said President Serna.
Vanessa Charlot, a consultant at BRG said in an email interview, “There’s a place for every voice in the UMF family; whether student, faculty, staff, alumni, or community member.” UMF and BRG place an astronomical value in making sure that the voices of the Farmington community are heard. “Student input is critical to the success of the strategic planning process that is currently underway. The strategic plan will serve as a roadmap for how our university will make decisions for the next five years; and you have a say in that,” said Charlot. “This is an opportunity for you to take ownership of your legacy at UMF and enhance the current and future student experience in a meaningful way,”.
“For me, a successful strategic planning process will result in a plan that the community feels they own. I want us to be excited about the vision and values we identify as representing our aspirations for our community,” said Serna.
In short, the strategic plan is going to drastically change students’ lives here at Farmington and we need YOU to help make Farmington more of a home than it already feels like. To contact BRG about changes you’d like to see in your community please email umf.planning.ideas@maine.edu to submit ideas.
