Dear Bite,
I have recently been at home, due to everything that has been going on. While I love my family and all, I can’t help but go absolutely insane when dealing with them. I have a part time job while I’m here, and while it gets me out of the house, I don’t know what’s worse–my family or my coworkers? Is there any way for me to last through these next few months without killing someone, or is that just crazy to think in itself?
-Pessimistic Polly
Dear Polly,
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I too am back at my dam and I swear I’ve gnawed through at least 3 trees already. I’ve been coping by buying my little miracle in a bottle otherwise known as melatonin. That’s right, hibernation is coming early this year folks. Three of them and I’m out like a light, they really have been a saving grace during this time.
-Bite
Dear Bite,
I have run myself into a small dilemma (or I should say my heart has). I have started becoming more interested in my teacher than the lesson, if that makes sense. My heart throbs for him and I can’t help but almost drool over him while he lectures. I have gotten to the point where I have to turn my camera off while in class because it’s THAT obvious. Any suggestions…?
-Heart Eyes For Him
Dear Heart Eyes,
Ask to stay after class for “extra help” on Zoom. Profess (no pun intended) your undying love for him, what’s the worst that could happen? He feels too awkward to fail you and risk having you in class again, so he passes you? Yes please! You got this, and remember, Zoom calls are recorded just for future record 😉
-Bite
Dear Bite,
I am a faculty member here at UMF. Lately my students have been leaving my Zoom calls early. I feel like I’m just talking to an empty space (it doesn’t help that their cameras are off). Is there any way to engage my students more than I already am?
-Fuming While Zooming
Dear Fuming,
I think you could benefit from reading this article. We have a student who can’t stop staring at her professor during Zoom and yours are running away from you. May I suggest taking more so a Magic Mike method of teaching. Now I’m not saying full on strip for your class (but I’m sure it would help) but just give them a little eye candy during the lecture and I assure you attendance will skyrocket.
-Bite
Dear Bite,
I am currently in the Journalism class and I feel like no one reads my pieces. It feels like I’m putting my readers to sleep. Am I not interesting? Do the students at UMF not care about the rising water levels of the Sandy River during the rainy season? What can I do to make my articles more interesting?
-Snoring Boring
Dear Snoring,
As an old soul with The Farmington Flyer I often preview articles before they make it into the paper and let’s just say that I find your articles riveting, but your audience doesn’t. I can attest to the falling asleep bit because, well, I have taken a small nap while reading your articles. Try writing about some hot gossip, it’s what the readers want (dare I say need). Or you can stick to writing your dry articles and putting our readers to sleep. I mean, we all need help getting to sleep sometimes.
-Bite