Nov 12, 2020 | Feature, Satire |
by Sam Shirley, Staff Photographer
Dining has a different look this year in the North Dining Hall. Students are greeted with tables seating only two each in efforts to promote social distancing and reduce the spread of COVID-19.
This creates a different dining experience for many, including varsity pickleball team captain Damon Hayward. Hayward tells us, “We used to crowd all twenty of us around one table at lunch time in the dining hall. We were practically sitting on each other’s laps, but it made it easy for us to discuss last night’s game.”
This year things are different; “They want us to sit six feet away from each other,” says Hayward. “It’s ridiculous, how can we be cool and superior if we aren’t all together in our clique while we eat?”
However, the rules imposed by administration don’t always deter students from sitting together in large groups. Another team member, Nicole Arlington, told us, “So what? It’s a virus. Some people get sick. Some people die. It probably won’t be us, so I’m willing to take that chance to sit with my friends,” She went on to question, “What are they going to do? Send the police in to tell us that we can’t sit here?”
Regrettably, at this point our interview with the pickleball team was cut short by Campus Police arriving and dispersing the group. “Believe it or not, there’s more to our job than ensuring each student gets at least one parking ticket during their time at UMF,” stated Campus Police officer Gerald Beckett, when asked about enforcement of social distancing rules.
Fortunately, not all students share this sentiment about the new socially distanced dining. Fifth-year undergraduate Zachary Peebles stated, “I’ve always sat alone in the dining hall for the past four years anyways. This isn’t much different, except now I’m not the only one sitting alone.”
At press time, Facilities Management was last seen attaching weights to the chairs, so that if students insisted on moving them, they were at least getting in their daily workout at the same time.
*This article is a work of satire*
Nov 12, 2020 | Feature |
by Brittney Lee, Contributing Writer
UMF students have begun filing their FAFSAs in preparation for the 2021-2022 school year.
The FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) determines the amount of aid that a student receives for their schooling, and must be completed by March 1harley carter
, 2021. However students should complete it as soon as possible—if any issues arise or changes need to be made to their applications.
Second year student, Harley Carter, said in an email, “I have not started [my FAFSA]yet, but I plan to in the next week or so, as it is better to get it in early.”
If the FAFSA is not finished by the deadline, students may not receive financial aid. UMF junior, Ali-Banks Mitchell said via email “last year I applied late and I learned my lesson.”
Not filing on time can cause some unwanted issues for students in need of financial aid. “I couldn’t get a work study or a federal pell grant.” Banks said. “I lost out on about $7,000 dollars just from filing late.”
Thankfully an issue like this isn’t impossible to fix, Banks said “I had to appeal to get the aid I usually receive and even then I still owed more than I did last year.”
Students may also struggle to get financial information from one or both parents when filling out the FAFSA. Carter said via email “It is hard for me to file because there is a lot of back and forth with my mom about her financial information.”
“My parents are divorced so I have to include my step-father on the application along with my mother. This makes filing complicated because I am consistently tracking them both down for their financial information,” said Carter.
To help get the FAFSA done correctly and on time students can visit Merrill Center as well as speak with the Financial Literacy Peer Educators on campus, known as “FinLit”.
FinLit is a resource for students to use for advice on budgeting as well as assist students when filing their FAFSA. Mitchell said in an email “I went once when I was stressed about my bill my freshman year to see what I could do before going to Merrill.”
Students can visit studentaid.gov to start and submit their FAFSA. This website also contains contact information if there are any questions or concerns about filing. Students can also visit Merrill if they are struggling with their financial aid.
Nov 12, 2020 | Feature |
by Noah Grindstaff, Contributing Writer
The Landing (Photo courtesy of Sam Shirley)
In the wake of the pandemic, the Landing has taken safety precautions to ensure that students will have access to safe and fun activities.
Making sure to have events centered around student enjoyment is important to the Landing staff, this year they continue to extend their services to the student population. Before the pandemic the Landing hosted “a lot of arts and crafts events, some movie screenings, assorted game nights with either one large game (like bingo) or various ones (like video game night)” said Brandon Reed, a sophomore, and manager of the Landing. They also used to host food diversity events to encourage multicultural interactions among students. This year, due to COVID-19 related health risks, food events cannot be hosted this semester.
Through all the new challenges this year, Justin Reid, a sophomore and performing arts major who works with Reed at The Landing, has found that “the primary differences [are] a major slash to room capacity and extra measures to sanitize and distance materials and people respectively.” He added that, “We keep a log of everyone that shows up at the event so that we can send it to Conferences and Events so that they can keep track of anyone who has attended.”
Students have been compliant with the new changes. “Everybody who visits follows the guidelines and safety measures,” said Reid. They have done well in their execution of social distancing measures.
Attendance for the Landing’s events might be lower this year, but those who do show up are excited to be there, “People usually visit in pairs and trios, so people are usually rather jovial in good company regardless of the event,” said Reid.
Upcoming events include: Friday the 13th on Nov. 13, a DIY Fairy Lantern event on Nov. 14, and Karaoke Night on Nov. 17.
To keep track of future events in The Landing, make sure to follow them on Instagram @umflanding and, if you’re on campus, go to the Olsen Student Center and check out their posters across from the Student Life office.
Nov 12, 2020 | Feature, Satire |
By Anonymous
As everyone knows (literally everyone) we have to wear these damned masks around campus nowadays.
They’re either floral, or black, or grey, or blue whatever the wearer chooses (seriously whatever). Frankly I myself have seen some major fashion faux pas around campus since the day we got here. I’ve seen abominations from striped masks with a polka dot shirt to a chartreuse mask with an amarillo sweater.
Don’t even get me started on the fact that I simply know for a fact that students aren’t washing their masks after they use them. We saw that you missed your mouth and spilled on to your mask and you have the AUDACITY to wear that same mask the next day with the same stain. Who are you fooling?
That’s not even the worst part (yes it can get worse), these masks are so uncomfortable it’s so hard to breathe in them. Karens around the world have come together to create a fake religion that allows them to not wear these abominations out anymore.
I propose that we follow these middle aged white women who have fits over expired coupons and band together and join them. You know what they say, “if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em”. As an act of our rebellion I am planning a “mask release ceremony” where all participating UMF students buy balloons, tie their masks to them, and set them free into the heavens. As implied masks will NOT be worn and social distancing will NOT be in place, shoulder to shoulder we shall stand in solidarity.
This party will promptly be following Halloweekend where local students have already started showing their support by partying in their dorms with of course, no masks on.
I am particularly excited to see how many new cases we get on campus after this. “It’s a fun game I like to play with my roommates,” said Senior, Abe Keller at University of Maine at Orono. “We check to see how many cases we’ve gone up by each week and estimate when we’re going to get sent home,”.
Keller doesn’t care about the virus however, “It’s all a scam, the big pharma companies want you to believe it’s real; somehow Steve Jobs is tied into this I’m sure of it,”.
While some students may be reluctant to change the mask policy I do believe that once we all come together and show the virus we aren’t scared of it, all this madness will subside.
This article is purely for satirical purposes. The names in this article do not reflect the views of the individuals.
Nov 12, 2020 | Feature, Ye Olde Beaver |
Taking a look back at the past 90 years of our campus newspaper and highlighting noteworthy items that perhaps were best forgotten.
Comic original published The Farmington Flyer in April 2007.
I would too; it looks like a strong and healthy tree. I might even tap it twice, depending on the DBH.
We all love maple syrup, and it’s really too bad that there isn’t the gallon jug of it in the dining hall this year. The corn syrup they have instead just doesn’t do it for us snobby Mainers; we’d rather eat our pancakes dry.
Personally, I’ve started bringing my own bottle of maple syrup with me to the dining hall, but that trend doesn’t seem to have caught on yet.
(Comic originally published in the Farmington Flyer in April 2007)
